


always second best

by reachthetree



Category: Little Mix (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Jade's Birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 14:03:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5542649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reachthetree/pseuds/reachthetree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The guy furrows his eyebrows. “I thought you said you were single?”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“That doesn’t mean I’m ready to mingle,” comes Jade’s swift reply, and Perrie holds back a giggle. She’s so funny.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Jade sighs. “I’ll never love anyone as much as I love Perrie.”</i>
</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>It's Jade's birthday. Perrie learns some new things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	always second best

**Author's Note:**

> a quick ficlet to celebrate the best birthday insta post of all time :)

Jade’s party hat is about to fall off, but she doesn’t seem bothered. She’s whipping her head to _Run The World (Girls)_ on the dancefloor, and Perrie is watching her affectionately. Jade has asked her to buy another drink, but Perrie is hesitant. As much as Jade deserves to let loose on her birthday, she’s already smashed, and Perrie loves her but she doesn’t want to be holding her hair and risk getting puke on her clothes. This skirt was expensive, all right.

“Can I have a pint of water, please?”

The bartender watches the party hat on Perrie’s head and grins. “Sensible celebration,” they say. “Admirable.”

Perrie frowns. Whatever. She gets the water, and takes a sip herself before heading back out on the dancefloor. The song has changed, there’s a slower one on now, and some people have coupled up and are shamelessly snogging the way people can after 1 AM. There’s a small ache in Perrie’s gut. She pushes it away and keeps looking for Jade, while protecting the water glass from people’s bodies.

Jade’s in conversation with a tall guy wearing a t-shirt that shows off his upper body muscles admirably. Oh boy. Perrie takes a breath and considers leaving them to it; it’s been awhile since Jade dated, and she doesn’t want to be in the way. Her feet don’t seem to listen to this consideration, though, because they walk on until she’s so close she can hear them talking.

“Sorry,” she hears Jade saying in her assertive voice, “but you’d always be second best to me anyway.”

Perrie stops in her tracks and holds her breath.

“Is that so?” The guy leans forward, seemingly unbothered, and grins.

Perrie sees the back of Jade’s head move as she nods. “My heart belongs to another, you see,” she says dramatically.

The guy furrows his eyebrows. “I thought you said you were single?”

“That doesn’t mean I’m ready to mingle,” comes Jade’s swift reply, and Perrie holds back a giggle. She’s so funny.

Jade sighs. “I’ll never love anyone as much as I love Perrie.”

Oh shit. Perrie almost drops the pint glass of water. She can’t breathe. What the fuck? She needs to go before Jade realises she’s heard. But she’s just standing there blinking, like she’s getting used to the sun after a long night’s sleep.

Jade turns around to leave the guy and freezes when she locks eyes with Perrie. Her eyes are a little unfocused after all the alcohol, and the party hat is hanging by an ear, but she looks right into Perrie. The guy might have left, Perrie doesn’t really know, all she sees is her best friend staring at her, knowing that she heard.

She lifts the glass. “I brought you water,” she says weakly.

Jade smiles, then. It’s the big flashing smile she always pulls out when she’s nervous. “Cheers. But maybe we should head home? I feel knackered.” She yawns exaggeratedly.

Perrie nods. “It’s your day, we do whatever you want.” She doesn’t really think before she says it, but she sees the flash of hope in Jade’s eyes.

Fuck.

*

They’ve always shared a bed when they stay over at each other’s, have since forever. It’s different tonight, though. Perrie is suddenly hyper aware of Jade’s body next to hers, dressed in Disney pyjama shorts and a matching top. She lies awake while Jade slips into the exhausted sleep of the drunk.

_I’ll never love anyone as much as I love Perrie._

Perrie turns the words over in her mind, inscribes them in every corner of it, and wonders what love really means. She thinks about how Jade is always the first one she calls when she gets good news, when she gets bad news, when she has an opinion on ANTM, when there’s a sale in a webshop she knows Jade would love. She thinks about how she’s never really liked any of Jade’s boyfriends, how they’ve all seemed unworthy of Jade, how she’s thought that she doesn’t need a boyfriend because she has Jade. It seems obvious, now that she’s looking at it from a new angle, but her love for Jade has been so instinctive and natural that she hasn’t felt the need to examine it until now.

She’ll never love anyone as much as she loves Jade.

It’s a long time of her heart beating like that of a frightened rabbit before she falls asleep.

The next morning Perrie wakes up to Jade groaning beside her.

“Morning,” she says, forcing herself to sound chipper. “How’re you feeling?”

Jade just mumbles something unintelligible in response. 

Perrie laughs nervously. “How about breakfast?”

A hand comes out of the covers with a thumbs up. Perrie is thankful for the reason to get busy, to occupy her mind with something that isn’t being in love with her best friend, who may or may not have meant romantic love when she said what she said. But why else would she have said it in that context? Perrie shakes her head as she prepares cheese toasties for them (extra cheese for Jade). She needs to not think about it.

When they’re starting to get done, Jade appears in the kitchen. She’s of course in her pyjamas, and her hair is a complete mess. There’s makeup still on her face, mascara and eyeliner having crept down below her eyes to create a very dark shadow. She looks so fucking beautiful Perrie’s mouth feels dry. How has she not seen this before?

She swallows. “Breakfast’s almost done,” she says.

“Smells amazing.” Jade groans. “Why’d you let me drink so much?”

Perrie huffs, a short laugh. “Babe, there was no stopping you.” She realises after she’s said it that maybe she shouldn’t call Jade “babe” anymore? What are the rules? Are there any? Fuck.

They spend the hangover day like they usually do; watching trashy movies, eating crisps, and talking. Perrie does her best to act normal, and she thinks it’s working. But when the day is coming to a close, and Jade is feeling better, she eyes Perrie and sighs.

“Did I say something stupid last night? You’ve been, like, looking at me weirdly.” She turns around on the sofa so she’s facing Perrie, her back against the armrest.

Perrie feels her cheeks go hot. This is not good. “Not stupid,” she manages. “Just– You talked to a guy.”

Jade puts her head in her hands and groans. “Oh god. What did I say?”

Technically, Perrie could lie. She could say something plain strange, and they’d laugh about it, and she wouldn’t have to deal with any of this. But she’s never lied to Jade before and she’d hate to start.

“He was trying to chat you up,” Perrie says, looking down at the sofa and playing with the sleeves of her jumper, “and you said–” She needs a breath. Jade’s looking at her with a bit of worry in her eyes. Perrie closes her eyes for a short second and prays. “You said that you’ll never love anyone as much as you love me.”

Jade’s mouth drops open. Her bottom lip trembles. She doesn’t say anything. Perrie feels like her chest is about to explode, or like she might throw up.

Then Jade laughs, a frantic nervous laugh, and throws her head back so she’s looking at the ceiling. “Oh well,” she exclaims. “Guess the cat’s out of the bag, then!”

Normally Perrie would reach for her hands and take them in hers until they stopped shaking. She doesn’t know if she’s allowed to do that now.

“Did you mean it, then?” She doesn’t know where the courage is coming from, but there it is.

Jade looks down and meets her eyes, turned serious again. “Yeah,” she says so quietly it’s almost a whisper. “I love you more than anyone, in all the ways.” Before Perrie can say anything, she continues, “and I realise you might not want to be friends with me, knowing this, and that’s fine. But now you know.”

She looks so vulnerable, her eyes wide open looking at Perrie, and her hands twisted together in her lap. This time, Perrie dares to reach out and touch them with hers.

“Hey,” she says softly. “I love you too.”

A hesitant beginning of a smile touches Jade’s mouth, but she shakes her head. “I know, but I mean–”

“I know what you mean,” Perrie cuts her off. “And I’m saying I feel it too.”

“Are you having me on?” Jade pulls her hands away and looks at Perrie skeptically.

Perrie shakes her head vigorously. “I wouldn’t,” she says. “After you said that, I did some thinking, and realised some things.”

Jade exhales. “What things?” There’s that flash of hope again, and Perrie wants to make it more than a hope.

“Like why I always hated your boyfriends,” she says, and Jade giggles. “And how you’re always the first person I call whenever something happens, and how you’re the one I want by my side when I take over the world.” She’s quiet for a moment. “How you’re the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen.”

This time, it’s a big, brilliant smile that takes over Jade’s face. “I’m so glad I got pissed last night,” she says. Perrie can’t help laughing, everything she’s feeling spilling out of her in joyous noises, and Jade joins her. 

They’re still laughing when Jade moves over to Perrie’s part of the sofa, but by the time their lips finally meet, everything is quiet except the loud beating of their hearts.


End file.
